Delighted by her fiancé’s promise to make Christmas special, a woman eagerly shared her holiday gift preference with him. However, she was taken aback when, on Christmas Eve, he showed her his phone, and she saw something that deeply upset her. Here’s what happened next.
On January 1, 2022, an anonymous female poster shared her story in Reddit’s “AITA” forum. Using a throwaway account to maintain anonymity, she felt a bit embarrassed about the upcoming question and deliberately kept some details vague. However, she did reveal that she, a 26-year-old Black woman, was engaged to Dave, a 27-year-old Caucasian man, who worked in the tech industry.
They planned to spend Christmas with Dave’s parents, three brothers, and their spouses. Motivated by a sizable bonus, Dave wanted to make up for past Christmases with limited finances. He asked her what she wanted as a Christmas gift, and she requested a popular fuzzy bag making the rounds on social media.
OP’s Christmas Present
On Christmas Eve, everyone gathered to exchange gifts. Among the presents, one sister-in-law received a fur coat, and the other got the air fryer she had been wanting. When it was the woman’s turn, Dave handed her his phone. Expecting to see a tracking page for the fuzzy bag, she was surprised to find an art picture of a monkey that was supposed to resemble her.
Regarding his previous upset, Dave explained that his anger was misdirected.
Perplexed, the woman inquired about the unusual gift. Dave explained that it was her present and went on to share that he had delved into investing earlier that year, saving up to buy this unique item—an NFT (non-fungible token)—for her.
Puzzled, the original poster showed the digital artwork to the family, who were just as astonished as she was. Wanting to understand the financial aspect, she asked Dave how much money he had “invested,” to which he revealed it was $8,000.
Laughter erupted all around, making Dave angry and the woman even more embarrassed. One of Dave’s brothers pointed out the questionable choice of gifting a monkey picture to his Black fiancée.
“Dave asked me if I was ever going to defend him and at this point I was so humiliated that I just got up and locked myself in the bathroom for a good cry. An hour later I called myself an Uber and booked myself a hotel until I could make it back home,” recalled OP.
Later, Dave called her, expressing his displeasure and blaming her for dampening the mood in his family’s home. He also accused her of being materialistic. OP countered by reminding him that she only wanted a $200 bag, not an $8,000 monkey picture.
Dave continued to defend his decision, claiming it was an investment in their future, and insisted she couldn’t see his vision. While admitting she could have reacted differently, OP felt guilty about leaving without warning, citing her discomfort and unwillingness to endure further mockery. “AITA for my reaction to my [fiancé’s] Christmas gift?” she wondered.
Sorting Things Out
On January 9, 2022, OP provided an update to her story. She clarified a few points, saying she knew about throwaway accounts but intended to stop using hers after the update. OP noted that she intentionally omitted the name of the bag (Teflar X Ugg) to maintain vagueness.
According to her, Dave had decided not to sell the NFT; instead, he planned to delete the wallet and absorb the cost. Lastly, OP had no intention of selling her account and expressed surprise at the attention received.
Moving on to the story, Dave reached out on the 2nd, seeking a conversation. During their meeting at the hotel, he immediately apologized, admitting fault without offering excuses. After OP’s departure, his family had urged him to make amends, and he genuinely missed her.
When questioned about the choice of the NFT over the bag, Dave explained that the bag was sold out, and, influenced by his tech friends, he thought the customizable NFT was a good idea. He acknowledged concerns about racial implications but believed he was in the clear after seeing Black celebrities also purchasing similar NFTs.
Regarding his previous upset, Dave explained that his anger was misdirected. His brothers’ teasing about his tech job, combined with the laughter over the $8,000 gift, fueled his frustration. He admitted fault and expressed anger at his brothers rather than OP.
OP then confronted her fiancè about being labeled materialistic, and he apologized, recognizing the statement as an expression of anger. He regretted assuming she wanted a physical gift for show and emphasized his commitment to salvaging their 10-year relationship.
Despite suggestions to leave, OP spent the nine days apart contemplating how to mend their relationship. She forgave Dave, reaffirmed her desire to get married, and disclosed her Reddit post, leading Dave to feel remorseful.
“[Dave] did end up getting me a make-up gift. Two Ohuhu sketchbooks and their 320pc. marker set I’ve had my eye on. So no major blowout happened. We talked, made up, and had a happy ending for the both of us,” revealed OP.
Comments from Readers
Do you think OP was right to show her disappointment with her fiancé’s Christmas gift? What would you do if you were in a similar situation?